Sign Boards in Mumbai

Just couldn’t help but notice and re-notice some of the boards I’ve seen in recent and not-so-recent past:

Seen under the FoB in Grant Road Railway Station:
“Please do not urinate under the bridge. You may meet accident.”
– Well, hello Mr. Accident. How do you do? Long time no pee.. ah.. I mean no see heh?

In a board outside a railway institute next to Mumbai Central station. The words were painted in a semi-circular format in this order:
Central Railway Training Institute,
Western Railway”

– We can’t make up our mind! Central or Western?

Outside a building not too far away from CST Railway Station, under which we stroll every afternoon after lunch:
“Warning: Old and Dilapidated building. Please do not walk under this building. We will not be responsible for any loss or damage to life and property.
Life Insurance Corporation of India”

– Makes me feel so good that I am insured with the same guys!

About three years back at the CST Subway walking back from Xavier’s with a couple of friends:
“Pravins Thick Shake: Rs. 10/-“
– Ahem! No comments!

On a board hung outside Dombivli Platform No.2’s railway canteen:
“Free Drinking Water
Please Pay First”

– Hmm. Can you please pass my bill for the free drinking water?

At the subway in CST:
“Spiting persons will be fined!” [Note the extra ‘t’ missing, or is it?)
– Yes Please. They can be quite annoying!

Seen and heard at many stations across Mumbai:
In Marathi: “Krupaya Railway Line olaandu (pronounced ‘o-llaan-du’) nakaa”
– Translated to please do not cross the railway tracks. This finds entry in this list cause’ my colleague Kapil gets tickled by the word ‘olaandu’ and re-phrases the sentence as “Krupaaya Railway Line Orlando Bloom nakaa!”

At the back of a rickshaw in Dombivli, apparently quoting Dr. B Ambedkar:
“I am an Indian first
And at last, I am an Indian!”

– Ok. I was an Indian to begin with but finally I became an Indian!

And finally, after being critical of all the sign-boards in Mumbai, the blogger saves his writing in an MS Word file and names it – ‘sing boards_blog.doc’.

read more

Back to blogging… again!

Back blogging again (losing count on this statement now!) and I must say, a lot has happened over the weeks that I’ve been away having a writer’s block with a combination of the anti-busy ant syndrome (don’t ask me what that meant!).

Well, for starters:
In Cricket (as usual for me), Pakistan actually won the ICC World T20 2009.
– Refer to the last post and Fan B’s prediction proved true! Well done sir, however furthest the reasoning had to do with cricket!

Moving on:
Mr. Jinnah becomes party to yet another ‘split!’ BJP is in a mess (for want of a better word).
Jaswant Singh (who is apparently the uncle of an old classmate) will soon find his bank account heavier as his book becomes a best-seller.
L. K. Advani does not have retirement in his dictionary and Rajnath Singh only has “you’re fired” in his’!

The Poms have the Ashes back!
Ricky Ponting is looking as lost as the BJP. Aussies now knows how it is to be at a lower altitude of test rankings.
England once again has started thinking they can become the best side in the world a la India!
Freddie Flintoff finally says good-bye before his knees bid him farewell!

Indian Cricketers WADA – poda!
Non-mallus, ‘poda’ is a slangy way of saying ‘get lost’ and ‘wada’ is a casual way of saying “come here”!

Michael Jackson dead/murdered/committed suicide/whatever!
Resting in Pieces!

Himesh can now sing in two different voices (voices?)!
One would be the usual wolf-voice. The new one would be the werewolf-voice!

SRK was detained/arrested/questioned at New York airport and APJ was frisked by Continental!
Mr. Obama, you better watch out on your visit to India! Indians are hungry… ahem… angry for disrespecting our national ‘icons’!

India became the No. 1 ranked side in ODIs
So what if it was for only a day? So what if we got annihilated by the Lankans immediately afterwards?

And finally, I completed three years in my current organisation!
Great achievement considering that I was ready to pack my bags in three months. Also, explains why I gained 14 KGs in the last 12 months and now have eight-packs all rolled into one big round sack!

read more