Times Now: Times Now Impact: India Wins World Cup after 28 years
AG: Your channel can now confirm that India has indeed won the World Cup. Remember, we were the first ones to break the story on February 19, 2011, that Dhoni’s men has won the World Cup and this result just goes on to show that we were right. This is a historic moment. A very historic moment. Your channel dug deep into the future to tell you even before Zaheer Khan bowled that first ball against Bangladesh, that India HAS won the world cup! To discuss this historic moment with us, we have with us 16 guests tonight…

Listening to the first three names in the panel would be enough to let you know it’s time to switch to another channel before they open their mouths!

Aaj Tak: Sachin ka armaan poora. Dhoni ke sheron ke pachaad diya duniya ko. Kar di duniya mutthi mein. Rach liya ithihaas ek baar phir Bharat. Kar diya Jaadu Zaheer ne. Sreesanth aur Bhajji phir bane dost!

When you see super-texts like these appearing one after the other in super-huge fonts with a bombastic sound-effect, why would you bother listening to the anchors and an ex-cricketer? Time to switch…

India TV: Jashn ke beech sanaata aur maayusi. Kaun sunega inn becharon ki awaaz? Dhoni ke sixer ne lee ek maasum kabutar ki jaan. Saare kabutar nirash. Poore Bhaarat ke khushi ke beech kabutaron ka dard!
Repeated visuals of Dhoni hitting a six with a circular graphic zoomed in on the ball flying out of the stadium. ‘Yahee tha who khaufiya darinda shot jisne lee ek maasum kabutar ki jaan! Kya Dhoni denge iska jawaab?’

Jeez, I will break down if I watch more of this. Time to switch…

Star News: Kya Tulsi Virani apne pothe ka icha poori karegi? Kya hoga Rahul ki shaadi Pooja se. Dekhiye Break ke baad…

Jeez, these guys sure have their priorities right!

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