The Common Indian fan: Before, during and after the World Cup!

Australia won. No, India lost!

For the common Indian fan, it isn’t a defeat. This is equivalent somebody snatching their spouse away. We criticize, crib and troll our team, sometimes so obnoxiously that it defies the laws of logic of even the animal world!

I am hopeful of a time when we will be a sporting nation, literally in every sense of that word. A nation that would accept defeat gracefully by patting our players on the back for a job well-done, and giving credit to the opposition for being the better team on the day. Till then, we’ll keep getting reactions like the ones listed below. Note: I am not counting myself out of this ‘crime’ either!

Indian fans (including yours truly) before the World Cup:

“Test aur tri-series mei jo waat laga tha. Ab world cup mei bhi waat lagnewala hai!”
We were humiliated in the Tests and Tri-series! More humiliation on its way!

“Kya pakaa raha hai? Quarter pahucha toh badi baat hogi!”
No chance man! We should be lucky if we reach the Quarters!

“Virat pe hi depend hai re sab! Aur koi khelta kidhar hai?”
Virat. Everything depends on him.

“Dhawan ko kaheko rakha hai team mei?”
Dhawan! Why is he still in the team?

“Bowling dekhi hai apni! Worst Indian attack hai yeh! Afghanistan bhi teen-sau maarega!”
Have you seen our bowling? This is the worst Indian attack ever! Afghanistan will score 300 against us!

“Dhoni budda hua re. One-day se bhi retirement ka time aa gaya hai!”
MSD should retire from ODIs too!

“Kya sochke Yuvi ke age Jadeja ko liya? Kya karega woh?”
Don’t know what the selectors were thinking when they went for Jadeja ahead of Yuvraj!

Indian fans during the World Cup

“Pakistan ke saath jeeta na! Bus ho gaya!”
We won against Pakistan and that’s good enough!

“South Africa ko haraya boss! Ab toh apun maarega re!”
We defeated the South Africans. Now, #WeWontGiveItBack!

 “Virat nahi khelega toh bhi batting line-up strong hai kitna apna!”
Even if Virat does not play, we have a strong batting line-up!

“Dhawan agla Sehwag hai!”
Dhawan is new Sehwag!

“Bowlers ke sahi form mei hai boss! Yeh best Indian attack hai!”
This is the best Indian bowling attack ever!

“Dhoni baap hai!”
MSD is a genius!

“Jadeja ne runout kiya dekha kya? Kya fielder hai re woh!”
Did you check the way Jadeja ran him out? What a fielder!

 

Indian fans after our defeat in Semi-finals

“Bola tha na nahi jeetega yeh team ko leke!”
Didn’t I tell you, we can’ win the World Cup with this team!

“Final mei bhi nahi pahuch paaya! Kitna sharmanak hai!”
We couldn’t even reach the finals. Shame on them!

“Anushka Virat ka intezaar kar raha tha! Isliye toh jaldi out hoke gaya!”
Anushka was waiting for Virat! Hence, he got out so soon!

“Bowling dekha? Mera Tommy se isase acha daalta tha! 320 ke upar diya! Kaun jeetega?”
Did you see our bowling? My dog would have bowled better than this! Who can chase a score of over 320!

“Dhoni budda hua re. Kabka  retire hona chahiye tha!”
The man has become old! He should’ve retired from ODIs long back!

“Kya sochke Yuvi ke age Jadeja ko liya tha? Kya kiya woh? Baal toh nahi kaata theek se. Naak bhi katwa diya”
We picked Jadeja ahead of Yuvi? What did he do? Apart from a terrible haircut, he also chopped off our noses!

 

*Burns a player’s effigy that looks more like the neighbour’s goat*

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we roll! All I can say is, “Chor yaar! IPL mei concentrate karte hai!” (Chuck it guys! Let’s focus on IPL now!)


1 Comment

  1. True

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