Why Mallus will never stop celebrating Onam

So, Onam’s here, and Mallus the world over are now doing what the rest of India does during Diwali and Independence day – shop! Apart from shopping, here are some of the other benefits that Mallus enjoy during Onam.

With veggie prices going north, the asset value of Malayalee tummies on Onam will be higher than that of some major economies today!

It is also the time when the GDP (Gross Domestic Product – quite literally) of a Mallu Kitchen is higher than the GDP of the rest of the country.

This is one day, when hospitals become understaffed, thanks to my Mallu sisters on leave. A day when we know that we Mallus are hard-working people, albeit – mostly out of Kerala.

This is one day, when vegetarian food tastes ever-so-slightly better than non-veg. Marginally! Very marginally! Actually, NO!


Onam is one day when Mallus can afford to look disgusting while slurping that payasam (kheer) off the leaf with their bare hands. 

This is also the day when a loud burp after the vegetarian meal does not sound annoying. So, go ahead, and burp to your heart’s content, or should I say, gas’ content!

This is a day when many mallu boys learn how to tie a mundu, only to forget it again till the next Onam. With the introduction of velcro mundus, that won’t be needed any more.

This is one day, when white replaces red as the colour of Kerala. A day even my friends from the Unions will wear white.

Onam is when friends suddenly remember all the Mallus in their WhatsApp contact list; and try and learn at least one Mallu word, which more of than not is ‘Onashamsagall’ (Best Wishes for Onam), other than the abuses that they’ve already learnt in college.  

Onam unites like no other festival. It is when Mammooty fans watch Mohan Lal movies, and Mohan Lal fans watch Mammooty movies, depending on what Asianet/Surya/Kairali/Manorama decides to show them during prime-time.

Got more? Share it on the comments section below.

1 Comment

  1. Linu Mathew

    Burpashamsagall Blessen! Mahabali and even his predecessor for the year Bahubali would be laughing their bellies out on this 😉

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