India Sports Fans, before and after the Olympics

Now that the euphoria of yet another Olympic Games is over, let’s look at some of the common reactions of the average Indian Sports Fan! These conversations are purely fictitious and any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is purely coincidental, but not impossible.


On Saina Nehwal

After London Olympics 2012
Indian Fan: Saina! The best ever!
After Rio Olympics 2016
IF: Saina, such a shame! A new younger girl is showing her how it’s done.

After Saina’s first round exit:

IF: Way past her prime! Talks of injuries are just fake! Excuses! After she tweets picture of her surgery:
IF: Get well soon, Saina! #SheWillBeBack #BigFan


On Sakshi Malik/Women Wrestlers
Before & After Rio
IF: They’ll be good at it. Roz local train mei toh unki gusthi dekhne milta hai! (We see their cat-fights on our local trains everyday!)


bannerimage_indianfansOn Indian Women:

Before Rio (or any Olympic Games)
IF: *Stares at a girl* She deserved it. Kapde kya pehni thee dekha kya? (Look at the clothes she wore!)
During Rio
IF: #PVSindhu #SakshiMalik #DipaKarmakar #IndiasDaughters #Proud
Few days after Rio
IF: *Stares at a girl* She deserved it. Look at the clothes she wore!


On Girl Child:
Before Rio
IF: It’s a girl? Seriously? Sheez! Dahej ke liye bachana padega! (We’ll have to start saving for dowry)
During Rio
IF: Save the Girl Child! #BetiBachao!


On PV Sindhu:
Before Rio
A: Sindhu won the Malaysia Masters!
IF: I thought Sidhu is in Kapil Sharma’s show! Woh sab chod, India Zimbabwe ka match dekha? (Chuck that, did you see the India-Zimbabwe game?)
During Rio
IF:
#PVSindhu #Legend #Bestest


On Our Sporting Interests:
Before Rio
Bhakts:
You sickular prestitute @*!@(!))(!!# Modiji is the best thing to happen to India!
Sickulars:
You illogical Bhakt! Modiji is the best thing to happen to Air India!
Salmaniacs:
Bhai ka picture se fastest collection kisi ka nahi hota! (No movie gets faster collection than Salman’s)! SRK is #$#@!!
SRKians: Salman is @#%@!@! The only thing that goes faster is his car!

During Rio
Bhakts, Sickulars, Salmaniacs, SRK:
*Hi-fives one another as Sindhu enters final!* Sindhu for Gold! Sindhu for Gold!

After Rio
Bhakts: You sickular prestitute @*!@(!))(!!# Modiji is the best thing to happen to India!
Sickulars:
You illogical Bhakt! Modiji is the best thing to happen to Air India!
Salmaniacs:
Bhai ka picture se fastest collection kisi ka nahi hota! (No movie gets faster collection than Salman’s)! SRK is #$#@!!
SRKians: Salman is @#%@!@! The only thing that goes faster is his car!


On Winning Medals:
Before Sakshi and Sindhu won medals
IF:
Indian athletes seem to have gone there for holidays and to click selfies!

After Sakshi and Sindhu won medals
IF: *Spots Sakshi, while on a holiday in Manali* Hey Sakshi, one selfie with me please?


Meanwhile, OP Jaisha stated that there were no Indian officials to provide her drinking water and essentials during her Marathon run! Well, here’s the logic that might have led to Indian officials being unavailable at the refreshment points:

“Why does she need water? Races are won on their own! Chumaa, don’t waste time by drinking water when you’ve a race to run! Have you seen Usain Bolt drinking water while racing?” 


 

I guess, some things never change!


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